Influences

Many of us think that we come up with our own ideas and that what we do stems from our own inner desire to do the right thing. But I pose this question. Have you ever wondered if someone you knew or know has ever influenced your actions one way or another? The real question here is why do we let others enter our decision making process? Is it that we want to do what we are told? Do we feel the need to please others? Or do we do it for ourselves in the hopes that our friends will lead us in the right direction and can see something that we cannot. How do we know when to follow these influences? Are they right? There are more questions then answers here but amazingly, all these things go through our mind in a fraction of a second and we make a decision. If only we knew what was the correct choice. We make these choices in hopes that it will not be the wrong one and ultimately cost us something if we don't do it. I'm sure there is much psychology to this and probably even more philosophy. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we all become confused at one time or another in our lives and someone or something sways us in one direction or another. I would like to think that the universe has a plan or at the very least an end goal in mind for us. I find myself lost a lot these days. I'm not sure what to believe in anymore. I don't know if I ever really did believe. I want to put my faith into something. Not necessarily an organized religion but something that I truly believe in. I know what feels right and what doesn't. But sometimes we walk that fine gray line of right and wrong. If only we could stop and think about things, choices, feelings, and outcomes. Things that might have been, or things that could still be.



I'm sure someone reading this could psychoanalyze it and sum what I'm talking about in a few words or word. But These thoughts and ideas need to get out and be asked.



Something that has been on my mind for many years but has always evaded me is a subject that my friend Sweetpea talked about in one of her blogs. She states that if your a guy, it's a good thing to make the first move. Here's the elusive portion of the thought. How do you know you should make that move? How do you know you aren't reading more into it than what is there? For me I know I have a bad habit of over thinking things or reading too much into them. I'm working on not doing that as much but it's a work in progress. How do you know until you try might be asked in return. But I'll put this out there, what if you're wrong? how would it damage a friendship or possibly be a very awkward situation? Now having said that, if you are out on a "date" then this type of behavior is expected. It may not always be wanted but it's a date for crying out loud. If only we as humans could be honest and open with another person and not scare them off at the first sign of your true inner thoughts. I wished that world existed. I find myself wanting to open up to someone and express these things without judgement. It all boils down to trust. If you trust someone enough and you feel their maturity level is of a high enough level then you can do just that. Sometimes you might find that you aren't crazy and others have had similar thoughts. Or they could be topics of discussion. I think I've reached very close to that stage. I can talk about most anything and would like to find that person to whom I could open up to and have them welcome my thoughts and feelings.